Fifth/Sixth Week Radiation

My busy workload the past couple weeks has contributed to infrequent updates. For the most part I'm just happy that I seem to have a little more energy each week and that the benefits of the chemo getting out of my system seem to outweigh the hit I'm taking from the radiation.

Yesterday (Christmas Eve) I had my last treatment to the whole breast which is a huge breath of relief as my skin will get a little break. Safe to say that my skin is now rosey and my armpit is indeed very sore. From what I understand the soreness in that area is very typical and has more to do with friction from arm movement and clothing than the lack of protective gel the first few weeks of radiation. I can now put more aggressive skin treatment (oils/creams) that will provide better pain and healing relief, as well as a little bit of my lidocaine cream leftover from the port if I choose.

The last 5 treatments - starting tomorrow and ending on December 31 - will be targeted only to the area where the tumor was removed. The area will be small with a higher intensity radiation, but a lower energy - electrons versus protons. Fascinating, right?

Fourth Week Radiation

I finished my fourth week of radiation on Friday. So far things continue to go smoothly. I barely have a skin burn on my breast. My armpit definitely has some color though and feels burned - no one told me the beams would hit this area. This makes me think the calendula is doing it's job because that is the one place I haven't been smearing it on 2-3 times a day for the past month. At this point there is a very distinct diamond pattern so I won't miss the burn zone anymore.

During the week everything is such a blur with dropping off kids, going to work, going to get my treatment, exercising, running Christmas errands, picking up kids, taking kids to well-checks, going to my dentist appointment, cooking dinner, cleaning up after dinner.....I'm doing OK energy-wise during the day probably because I'm running on adrenaline all day long. After dinner and playtime Ryan heads up bath time, we read stories to the kids, and then I collapse on the couch and have been falling asleep by 8/830. I suppose any working parent would be tired at the end of the day after zig-zagging around town like I am these days, regardless of going through radiation. Definitely looking forward to a simplified schedule in January.

And P.S., my eyebrows must have got last week's memo as they are starting to sprout. My morning pencil routine is a bit less frustrating now.

I know....it will grow back

I feel like I've been a pretty good sport about the whole hair loss thing, but it doesn't change the fact that I cringe at the sight of myself in a mirror. I've taken very few pictures of myself the past 5 months but I suppose it's not a bad idea to document just how bad things got so that when I look back years from now and complain of a bad hair day I can remember just how bad it could be. And to be fair I used the "retouch" tool on the bottom two images to lessen the dark undereye circles, it is actually worse. Not to mention the swelling around my eyes has actually gone down in the last few weeks. The first week I returned to work things were pretty swollen and I'm thankful there are no images to remind myself just how bad that looked.

Last week was rough on my eyebrows and yesterday I lost the last 3 stragglers. I hate to dwell on the eyebrows, but seriously they do A LOT for your face. I suppose there's always something you'd change about your looks, but since I was a teenager I've always thought I had a nice pair of eyebrows which makes it all the more painful to have lost them. I use a eyebrow liner to pencil them in everyday which is a very frustrating exercise in symmetry.  It's one thing to enhance your thin eyebrows with a pencil, it's a totally different thing to draw them in from scratch trying to make sure one isn't higher than the other, or strangely arched looking a bit on the angry side. There is no way to recreate what I had with a pencil, instead it's this little thin archy brow that doesn't really look like anything like my natural brow. If I drew things the direction of my natural brow I'd look very sad. Sadder than I already look.

It sucks. And yes, I realize they will grow back.

July 2014, before chemo

December 2014, 6 weeks post-chemo

Make-up rookie yielding an eyebrow pencil

Third Week Radiation

Everything continues to go smoothly. It is a nuisance to go to the hospital 5 days a week, but overall radiation is worlds easier than chemo. In terms of fatigue I feel like I have a bit more energy each week despite the radiation, which means my body is still recovering from the chemo. So far no major burn, it just looks like my left breast has started hanging out in a tanning bed.